Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Well I can finally say " I don't smoke!" it is a fabulous feeling. I truly am free. I quit December 25 2008 at midnight, as Santa was flying around the world I stood in the snow in my pj's puffing on my last smoke, blowing the smoke to the wind. This was my last moment of standing in the freezing cold to smoke like an outcast. The last of my family to quit, all but one of us were smokers including my parents.
I'd quit before numerous times but always in the mindset of 'having' to do it... feeling like I was being forced..and that I was depriving myself of something special. The money never figured into it...I started smoking when a pack of 20 was 0.51 cents!! yes you heard that right...I use to collect pop bottles around the neighbourhood so I could buy a pack of smokes at 11 years old. The pack would last me for a long time but it never is how many you smoke it is that you smoke!! so don't be fooled.
I quit for 'Love' but when that fizzled so did my resolve, a quit on bets, and of all the reasons to quit I didn't when my mom died of a weak heart due to chronic lung issues her whole life...she was on oxygen and still smoked, then my dad got lung cancer...did that work...for a day...and that is not being truthful..only about 9 hours. I knew that I didn't want to replace this horrible habit with another, so the patches and gum, and drugs were all out..I truly believed the only hold they had on me was in my mind, and hypnosis was out of the question...I've got enough of my own suggestions running amuck in there without someone else's thoughts.
One day out of the blue someone told me about Allan Carr's Easy Way To Quit Smoking and I thought come on I already own every quit smoking books, but people everywhere I turned were singing this guys praises. So at the grocery store, I found a copy of the book...only one left...so I bought it...turns out this guy Allan had his epiphany when he was smoking 100 smokes a day!!! and I thought ok I'll at least keep an even more open mind seeing as he was an even bigger sucker than me !!
Within 4 chapters I was ready..but alas he won't let you until 3/4 of the way through the book..and it resonated with me instantly..the basis is the lies we tell our self about smoking and if you've never smoked sorry but you don't understand it.
So on December 25, 2008 I became a non smoker...I'm not an ex smoker...just a non smoker..I turned my back on them and all the I told myself about them. I turned my back on all the energy I wasted...and there would be no more energy giving to them. So I don't really talk about it unless someone asks, and now when I see people standing in the cold smoking I just go, that's sad, and smile that it's not me.
The final straw that pushed me over the edge to finally setting a date to quit was Russell Brand...yup...the wild Englishman himself..he doesn't know it but when we meet I will tell him...I was watching a You Tube clip...and seeing how Russell got Matt Morgan and lots of other people to film him doing things and post them to the Internet...he was giving a tour of his house...and he yelled out,,"Who lite a fag in my house????" and I thought shit I don't want him to yell at me like that when I come to his house !! so I'd better really do it this time... :) I guess it was the final kick in the ass I needed...not one second of stress, not one nic fit, and a moment when I thought 'I WANT ONE!!!!!' just the most lovely sense of satisfaction.
It's never too late